Indian Larry

Tonight I was walking home and as I turned from Bleeker Street onto Bowery there was a portrait of Indian Larry next door to CBGC's. CBGB is gone, been gone for a year but for those of us who live downtown it remains a reference point. If I am meeting a friend in the area and say it's across the street from CBGB's they know where to go. Nothing more need be said. The fact that it is gone is meaningless to me. I was there a bunch when I was a younger man but it long out lived itself and when Hilly died it seemed silly people wanted to keep the place going. Everything is so different now about New York. There are a bunch of ways of looking at this. There is the longing for the past. When I came of age New York was a filthy dangerous place that fostered an extraordinary amount of artistic development as well as infinite misery for the less fortunate, the addicted and the have nots. Still I preferred the old New York because it was an enviornment I am famaliar with. I'm not at all saying I am opposed to the way things are now. I was not wise enough to see where things were going back then but now I can look back and understand that New York has managed to survive itself as have I. I do at times look at all the change and it is disappointing but what it really shows is that I live in a city who's soul is still vibrant and alive. The New York of now is as beautiful as the New York I knew when I was a young man. It reflects the way culture and society has evolved. I am not at liberty to say we are the cultural center of the United States. I might have said so at one point in my life but I don't live anywhere else so I can't say with certainty that the soul of Chicago or San Francisco is any less vibrant than what I see here every day. The pinnacle of a society of consumption. It should be interesting to see what happens now as the financial system continues its descent into the abyss. Today is October 27 and it has done nothing but fall for weeks now. It seems as if the playing field is leveling itself out and I find it amusing for not really ever having much I find myself pretty well equipped to survive this. I've managed to live through worse. Funny how Indian Larry was the catalyst for this. He was a motorcycle guy. I would see him around but we were never friends. We had mutual friends but we had no chemistry so we never spoke. His career seemed to be going pretty well and from what I understand he was doing his trademark trick and fell off his bike. He would get it going and stand on the seat. I've seen this done on television but I never attended an event he preformed at. I may be wrong so if I am forgive me but what I heard he simply fell off the bike and that was it. I wonder if he ever felt that something could happen to himself. I think about all the times I have suddenly found myself in a situation wondering how did I get here. I think it's part of being human to believe something horrible would ever happen to me. Every kid that signs up to go to Iraq believes in their heart that nothing will happen to them. I think in a way it's part of the human condition. The other guy gets it not me. Who knows when the hand of fate will point my way. For now I feel as though I've lived a full life. I wonder how I'll feel tomorrow.